Pokémon Unite: Disgusting But Inevitable (The Jimquisition)

New merch store!
Pokémon Unite is sick. Aimed at children, flimsy MOBA seeks to exploit anybody it can get its talons on with excessive monetization, including a battle pass, loot boxes, and active pay-to-win mechanics.

It is also, sadly, the natural conclusion of the track Nintendo’s been on, as well as the mindset with which Pokémon was released back in the mid-.

God though… it’s really despicable.


  1. “Worse than Breath of the Wild”

    Oh God, is it possible for a game to be rated lower than an 7 out of 10?

  2. I miss the days when you could unlock new content in games by…y’know, playing the game instead of paying more money

  3. Who’s that pokemon? It’s capitalism, seen from above!

  4. Cr1tikal demonstrated how pay2win this game was by paying hundreds of dollars to overpower opponents. Games jounalists blamed HIM for making the game pay2win instead of Nintendo & Tencent. He explains it in his video titled ‘My Response’ (I cannot post the link as youtube deletes comments with links)

  5. “I’m so sick of gems and crystals!”

    Uh…the “JEWELS!” video wasn’t THAT long ago, right? :P.

  6. The Lady Laydralae

    I think all games with microtransactions should be rated A for Adult

  7. I also want to point out that they actually throttle your coins from playing games without telling you as well. There is a maximum amount of coins you can win per week, so you can’t even grind currency to get Pokémon – this is done to artificially make gaining Pokémon frustratingly slow enough that you just buy currency! WTF is that about?!

  8. “don’t commit a crime unless the crime is worth the prison sentence”

    Words to live by.

  9. Wow, Pokemon Unite is really shameless, isn’t it?
    Niantic: Hold my beer

  10. I’m curious as to why you didn’t mention tencent’s involvement in the development of the game, you’re usually pretty good about mentioning it, just curious.

  11. I still feel like this wouldn’t have happened under Iwata. I could be wrong, though.

  12. Pokémonetisation! Gotta cash ’em all!

  13. I once again feel the need to point out how amazing Jim is looking recently

  14. God it’s so depressing that we view every human struggle as indicative of failure. Like, I play Gacha games and don’t buy things, but that’s because I’m LUCKY that I’m not tempted, not cuz I’m *mENtalLy STrOngER* .

    So often the people see the struggles of others, in this case addiction, and blame the sufferer for the *moral failing* of not resisting an urge that they themselves do not have.

  15. Back in the day I played ‘Driver 2’ on repeat for years and years before GTA3 came out. ‘Driver 2’ had a free roam mode and I would make up my own games within the game, like time trials around made up tracks and how quickly I could lose the cops.

    Now the game plays the kids. The player is the toy, not the game.

  16. As soon as I saw Tencent on Pokemon Unite I was like “oh boy… where’s the p2w…”

  17. “The free market brings innovation!”
    The free market :

  18. I’ve figured it out: you base your entire personality on Dr Moreau…

  19. This is why I keep going back to older games, they are literally designed to be more playable and FUN than the new shit

  20. Pokémon company has been quietly the greediest company out there.

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