Grand Theft Awful (The Jimquisition)
The Grand Theft Auto Trilogy, otherwise known hilariously as Grand Theft Auto Definitive Edition, is terrible. A disaster. A most amusing circus. Let’s take that ride right now. Strap yourselves in!
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Popeye – How Pathetic Can One Game Be? (Jimpressions)
One of the laziest, most despicable games I’ve ever played, the sheer lack of effort in conjunction with a well known license is beyond appalling. Let’s see just how utterly pathetic one game can be. The answer is very. Very, very pathetic.
NFTs: Nasty F*cking Things (The Jimquisition)
NFTs are the latest craze, and they’re horrible. A stain on the art world, a total scam, and environmentally damaging. Naturally, videogame publishers are huge fans! I swear way more than normal, because NFTs truly are disgusting.
Is This Gears Of War Ripoff Talking Down To Me? (Squirty Play)
Well, I found myself a highly amusing Gears of War clone to play, one with voice acting so slow and precise, it genuinely feels like it’s patronizing you. Let’s go! #MARS #GearsOfWar #ThirdPersonShooter #Shooter #JimSterling #PC #Microtransactions #SquirtyPlay
Scott Cawthon Simps Just Love To Hate (The Jimquisition)
It doesn’t take much to get the defenders of Scott Cawthon to take their masks off and reveal the frothing hatred underneath. Enjoy this little recap of what those who stan for the creator of Five Nights at Freddy’s had to say this past week. It’s quite horrible, folks!
Marvel’s Guardians Of The Galaxy – Quill Got It (Jimpressions)
Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy is a damn sight better than Marvel’s Avengers, but that’s hardly high praise. That game was bloody awful. By contrast, this is a well written, well paced, well made game. That’s a lot of wells, and this game has a lot of licensed music. Well,…
Hentai Vs. Evil – As Horny As A Soccer Ball (Jimpressions)
Hentai Vs. Evil has taken something beautiful (hentai) and made it bad (bad).
Pissy People Protesting PlayStation PC Ports (The Jimquisition)
God of War is coming to PC, and wouldn’t you know it, zealous PlayStation fans are up in arms! They see betrayal, contempt, and even hate, almost as if they put far too much emotional stock in a corporation. That stake, and the assumption that someone “deserves” exclusivity in return…
Devil Nuns With Tommy Guns (Squirty Play)
In Limitless Hunger, you get to shoot loads of weird monsters with guns. It’s like Serious Sam, but it’s… well… it’s got an imagination all of its own!
Why Emulating Nintendo Games Is Good, Probably (The Jimquisition)
Kotaku got itself told off by the gaming community for allegedly encouraging piracy. This is because it wrote about Metroid Dread being emulated in 4K, a news story that is news. Meanwhile, Nintendo has made a great case for emulation by offering a premium subscription service that offers access to…
Back 4 Blood – Left 4 Meh’d (Jimpressions)
Back 4 Blood is basically a lesser version of Left 4 Dead, despite having way more content. Turns out personality is way more compelling than simply having loads of stuff. Also, it’s really annoying. And slow. And just not as good as Left 4 Dead.
Skatebird – Everything I Love Turns To Ash (Jimpressions)
I’ve made no secret of my excitement for Skatebird. I must now be equally as open about my disappointment.