This Game Is Called Pure Maiden Captures Uncle (Squirty Play)



New merch store!
This game’s title is weirdly accurate to a very specific degree. It has a pure maiden. It has an uncle. The interaction is a little more “direct” than merely capturing though.

20 Comments:

  1. Why did they steal your likeness when creating Jesse for Pokémon and when will you sue them for 10 million dollars?

  2. Uncles need semi-consensual love from unsettlingly youthful-looking identikit animu girls too, ya know. #NoHate

  3. OK this is perhaps the strangest game I’ve ever seen. Magically and with the power of anime you murder your (handsome) uncle to J-Pop.

  4. This game is too pure and intelligent for me to understand.

  5. Once I saw the mana going into the negative, I knew this was a quality product

  6. Having ten thousand hitpoints is a prerequisite for becoming a handsome uncle.

  7. Fighting an eldritch businessman in stonehenge seems very on brand for a Sterling video. It’s fascinating how many of these games have such unconvincing English translations on their steam entries. Maybe it’s a strategy to attract the streamers who buy these things for content.

  8. Jim: there is nothing going on.

    Magic Energie: -5000000000

  9. “we can constantly heal”
    actually there is a limited amount of mana points under Your health
    *mana goes to negative 2000 and still usable*
    okay, nevermind

  10. Many languages especially east Asian ones I believe the word for man and uncle is basically the same so when this was translated by a non English speaker they probably didn’t understand the difference. You’re probably supposed to fight and “capture” handsome men which is still weird but maybe answers some questions.

  11. Your mana bar was just a suggestion, it just kept going after it hit 0. I’m honestly not convinced that you would lose if your health hit 0.

  12. I like that Uncle Number 3 (Floaty Uncle) was more interested in the forest & flowers than in Pure Girl Protagonist.

  13. 😂😂😂 I think in Japanese uncle means older man that isn’t your father not just uncle. I also love how they couldn’t be bothered to do new animation for the uncle and just copy and pasted 😂😂😂😂

  14. This game gives people what they want. Intense action, music, drama and mystery. And it pulls out, leaves us satisfied.

  15. Yo you just started generating a negative mana bar, how do you even code something so poorly.

  16. As an uncle myself I now live in fear that my nieces and nephews will exact their bloody revenge on me. But knowing that I can simply push them off the edge of the map will be my greatest advantage! Thanks for the heads-up, Jane!

  17. I love the moment of realization, “wait a minute? We haven’t even captured a f*cking uncle”. Had me rolling

  18. Did
    Did this person literally take the free MMD model of Vocaloid Mirai Komachi and one of her demo songs to make this weird asset flip of a game?????
    Edit: for anyone asking, the song is “Mirai” by Mirai Komachi, it’s on the Japanese Namco Bandai channel on youtube.

  19. Steam is like a city in an RPG. You’ve got the disconnected AAA games living in their ivory towers. You’ve got the hard-working indie games living at ground level. And, then, you’ve got games like this one that are basically the monsters living in the sewers.

  20. Pranavanathan Yoganathan

    I cannot believe it took over 4 minutes for a “cry uncle” joke.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *