The Jimquisition takes time out from personal, embittered, GAF thread-locking drama topics and reheats a favorite kitchen dish – let’s slow roast some asset flips for maximum flavor!
From familiar zombies to a tragic arachnid with a great past and no future, we look at the most overused assets money can buy, and warn Steam Direct to look for the telltale signs of a bad, bad developer.
Bonus Segment: Oh Ubisoft
Omg. 20 minutes of sexual bliss… erm i mean Jim’s sensual voice. Love you Jim!
I WAS WAITING THE ENTIRE DAY FOR THIS. Thank god. I mean, thank Jim.
my weeks been fucking miserable, been genuinely looking forward to this weeks jimquisition
This twenty minute video has been up for two minutes but I already know for a fact it’s CLICKBAIT AND JIM IS A SHILL FOR SONY BUT ALSO MICROSOFT BUT ALSO NINTENDO BUT ALSO AN SJW BUT ALSO CUCKOLDRY.
What the fuck? I’d heard the animations in Mass Effect were fucked up, I didn’t realize they were THAT bad. Holy shit, they’ve been working on the game since like 2012, how does it look that shit?
Why breathe in a mask when you can breathe through your skin?
“I feel the strange need to listen to Jim Sterling bitch about something” **Checks Subscriptions** Hot damn, Using luck instead of notifications for everyone pays off again!
F**K YOU JIM I JUST GOT THAT CASTLE CRASHER TUNE OUT OF MY HEAD
You’re really making me hesitant to buy Mass Effect with those video clips, Jim XD
*sigh*
Stay in school! Chilidogs!
I don’t get why people think criticizing Andromena’s graphics and animations are a BAD thing. Mass Effect has had great cut scenes and dialogue. Why would you let such shitty standards slide?
I miss Konami fucking up ?
TotalBiscuit just put out a nearly two hour video on Andromeda’s single player.
Longest WTF is he’s ever done, rivaled only by SimCity.
This is gonna be a fun time. I wish Jim and John would get together and tear apart some games.
I’m going to make a unity asset flip game. It’ll have all the above mentioned assets plus a bunch more and be a co-op buddy shooter that I’ll give away for free and I think I’ll call it something snappy like “Unity Asset Flip: The Game”.
No Life Hacks this week?
UNSUBSCRIBED!
0:00 Hmm, this game looks pretty good for a Steam Greenlight… Oh… oh no…
Life’s good when you’re a Pathfinder block, showing on a TV that looks like an apple, made by a cun-*SKELETON WARRIORS!*
No one at Valve is going to be reviewing Steam uploads. Valve has a totally flat organizational structure. Not even Gabe Newell can make someone do something they do not wish to do. And you’re not going to find anyone who volunteers for that job. Not to mention, Gabe Newell very sensibly wants Steam to become a channel which anyone can upload to. You know, like YouTube. The site drowned in so much unwatchable shit you could not imagine… but which you need not imagine because they have a sensible recommendation engine. Which is what Steam needs.
Also, Ubisoft doesn’t think gamers are stupid. But they do know gamers are weak. So very weak. All full of piss and vinegar… but they’ve got a spine like overcooked spaghetti. They see content for sale, they buy it. They know no other way. Giving money to AAA publishers is like breathing to them. They’ll complain online all day, sign petitions all night. And in the morning, they open their wallet and prove what soulless husks of garbage they truly are, preordering the next batch of bullshit.
So Jim is the Steam Cleaner?! Next you’re gonna tell me that Clark Kent is Superman and Santa isn’t real!
My Face is Tired lol
Hey when are we going to get a video on “Whaling” tactics that Game publishers are using to suck up all the money from their “Whales”? Especially with the Revelation of For Honer director who said that For Honer was designed to be a 7 year grind to unlock everything without buying additional microtransactions. and that microtransactions cost up around $700 to get everything.
I want to name these tactics:
HARPOONS: First lets look at Microsoft’s Halo Wars 2 and their “Best Value” bundle of card packs for the low low cost of $99.99. More than the retail price of the $60 game. When a micro transaction exceeds the retail value of the game or of a free2play game of similar comparasion if it were not monetized by microtransactions that is a harpoon. It is designed to get as much money from the Whales in as little time as possible, encouraging whales to dump hundreds of dollars or even thousands of dollars on the launch, instead of the traditional microtransactions which are only designed to get $1-5 per player every week. This shows a intention to not support the game in the long run.
DRIFT NETS: Basically For Honor’s microtransaction model. With grinds for people NOT purchasing microtransactions designed to last for years; much longer than the intended lifespan of the game, especially with a sequel planed in the next year or two. The end result is $60 becomes the demo and if you want to full game, you will have to drop hundreds of dollars, before the game’s player base and support drops of completely.