Z.I.O.N – Robot Dick Thrustin’



Oh hey, it’s another terrible FPS.

97 Comments:

  1. Huh, I wonder what Subreddit I made angry today.

  2. “After a rare artifact was stolen from the complex space station” – What
    artifact? What space station? Who stole it? What are you blathering about?!

    “The humanity founded Z.I.O.N.” – You’re never gonna explain what that
    stands for are you? Yeah I didn’t think so.

    “This seemed to be the only way to defeat the enemy. Usually.” – I dunno, a
    single dude with an assault rifle seemed to kill one just fine.

    “A city is assigned a single agent…” – Either Z.I.O.N is understaffed to
    the point of just being literally one man, or I might have found the
    problem with their strategy if they expect one lone soldier to secure an
    entire city with no support.

    “an impulse that kinda fuels up the bots” – Look, does it or doesn’t it?

  3. abloogywoogywoo

    The only reason aliens would go to such incredible lengths to travel light
    years through space to get to Earth is to have sex with us.

    No other reason. Its not scientific curiosity, or to wage war, they can do
    that on their home-world. No… sex, my friends is the only justification
    for such an endeavor. Jim Sterling got front row seats to the
    out-of-this-world orgy.

  4. Island Light meets Earth 2066 ?

  5. Thank god for digital homicide! If it wasn’t for them trying to sue you,
    Jim, I would of never known about your channel. I feel my life is now
    complete. Nuff love from the original cumdog millionaire x

  6. The Jews are coming! The Jews are coming!

  7. Elemental_Phoenix

    11:10 *slow clap*

  8. Martin “Rekalty”

    Dead Man have all the time in the world.

  9. 4:09 Tumblr, reddit and Hearthstone simultaneously.

    Tumblr has a lot of overwatch memes lately.

  10. 0:17, was that robot moonwalking?

  11. This is better than most porn.

  12. HAHAH…too funny

  13. 3:30 moooooooooooooooooooooooooooon juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuump

  14. He just got raped by the robot!

  15. Gentleman of shit

    I feel sometimes bad for all storefront asset creators… Must feel bad to
    see your hard work raped into pieces in a shitty game.

  16. i believe dancing plants say “I AM GROOT”

  17. Aleksandrs Vitolins

    Why does the M4 sound like a .50cal?

  18. You know you’re a hardcore operator when you don’t even bother with a rear
    sight. Operating operationally on operations in operational environments
    with dick thrusting robots.

  19. How and why do people release this

  20. Motion blur? More like “motion BLERGH!”…

  21. This reminds me of Earth: Year 2066

  22. looks like something i could model back in 2001

  23. I don’t understand how there can be lag in an offline game…

  24. ever wonder why you’re here?

  25. The One Free Man

    Its kinda interesting how it is a four letter name that stands for
    something wiht a slow down time mechanic. F.E.A.R. anyone?

  26. Is it just me, or is the robot from around 6:00 the one from the Epic’s UE4
    Showdown demo?

  27. THIS is a finished product on Steam?

    Fuck it! Why bother with months and months of study and practice when I
    could just release whatever the hell I made within six hours?!

  28. So many shameless plugs…

  29. TheFlusteredCustard

    Just to comment on the brick wall thing: it wasn’t a paper thin facade, it
    was an asset intended to be an upright wall, which is why the bottom and
    connecting side aren’t rendered. Can’t blame you for not noticing, just a
    fun fact.

  30. Negitoro Is Best Ship

    A robot aggressively dicking Jim fuckin sterling son is something I need a
    ticket to seeing.

  31. Nicholas Aadvon

    The sound dancing plants make: Woohoo!

  32. Cant believe some of the terrible crap on Steam. Like here I am thinking
    i’d be really hard to make a game and clearly it isnt. So much motion blur
    as well

  33. what’s weird is I like the city scape and robots. it’s just a shame
    about… well everything that isn’t stationary

  34. Hello you members of a Bukake clean-up crew.

  35. The way they Walk is so hilarious to me haha Keep it up Jim!

  36. haha what a piece of shit.

  37. dontrestyourhead

    Genuinely nearly vommed from the motion blur

  38. Played this in the background while playing Smite because Thank Gods for
    Jim Sterling

  39. Wow this game is bad. The pop-ins is making the frame rate drop.

  40. Trogdor The Animator

    No, Jim! Why did you kill your Robot buddy?

  41. Never thought I’d ever see a game that you could actually apply the pelvic
    thrust portion of the song Time Warp to.

  42. Let me guess, some Russian kid is the dev.

  43. Hey Jim. Are you going to be covering the scandal surrounding the last
    minute cancellation of “legends of the gaming industry” by USC
    administrators. For there being no “female” representation at the event.

  44. All i got from this… Is that they didn’t play their own game due to
    motion sickness… So the game is a polished turd :P

  45. “Let’s pick a random word out of the Holy Bible and make it an acronym for
    our secret super-soldier program!”
    And thus Z.I.O.N. was born!
    Also, it’s hilarious when enemies set to get as close to the player as
    possible have a minimum range on their weapons.

  46. I know why the words were going off to the edge of the screen. It’s because
    there using a pr
    And that is why Jim. Also a better Title would have been Metal Gear Solid’s
    Gear #Fuckona

  47. Alexandros Katechis

    Infinite Warfare looks great!

  48. Rooster Cogburn

    The coolest part was the assets falling from the sky. That was beautiful.
    The rest is meh

  49. Wonder who made those robot models they actually look pretty cool.

  50. Halsaufschneider

    lol, I fiddled around with the UE4 Editor. And dat single room looked
    better than this entire game. Scam Artists to the max!

  51. Angelos Dardagiannopoulos (User Terminated)

    As a person being entertained by this shit, I am rolling on the floor
    laughing at how bad this and all the other “finished games” I keep seeing
    here truly are. Hard to watch, but amazing entertainment (every video is
    gold. Great job with your channel Jim, I love this shit). As yet another
    indie developer, I feel sad and disgusted that fellow indie devs get away
    with this low quality trash, while I waste my life on trying to make
    something of a higher caliber.

  52. Robot blowjob

  53. F̶̕e͘r͏̶n͠a̛nd̡́͘ǫ ͏͝Ho̸̧od̨͠͡

    he looks so short wen he is running

  54. 1 “Aphid” Person

    God I am sick of that same M4A1 model in every one of these shit fps’s

  55. That grass is from the goddamn unreal tutorial pack…

  56. It’s actually called motion-blerghh.

  57. I’m a dead man, 1! 2! 3! 4!
    I’m a dead man, 1! 2! 3! 4!
    Everybody sing the song of dead man,
    I’m a dead man.

  58. “As long as i stay close to the robot, it cant hurt me” When did this game
    turn into Dark Souls?

  59. Sean “DeViLzzz” DeMarco

    Honestly I like some of what I saw but the game’s AI and graphical glitches
    need fixing plus the world could use a bit more life. This game should have
    been released as an early access game at best and honestly probably could
    use a better developer. I look forward to someone else doing something
    similar to this.

  60. You could definitely tell the “Developer” was really proud of the waving
    grass and bushes. I remember when I used to just stare at that kind of
    stuff, when I was 12…

  61. I’m reminded of Earth year: 2066.

  62. If a game like this managed to pass through Greenlight, it definitely makes
    obvious the fact that Steam doesn’t care about the quality of their games,
    but simply use Greenlight to manage their amount of work based on the
    popularity of the games. But I don’t entirely see the point of not letting
    every game in then, it’s not like they are that much involved in the
    process. They simply check if every image in the store page is correct,
    icons and stuff… It’s already a lot automated, they could make it
    entirely – for better or worse, I don’t know. But it would require even
    less work for them on the long run, and featuring a game like this would
    seem less absurd.

  63. Lestat Comédantè

    Complex Space Station? Does complex refer to form(*”It’s a complex system”*)
    or building type(*”Welcome to our factory complex”*)? Robotized Aliens? Did
    Dr. Robotnik(Egg Man) have a hand in this? Do they mean Biomechanical
    weapons or are they like alien androids(similar/comparable to)? Seems like
    it’s a cheaply translated deal and that doesn’t forebode well for the rest
    of the game’s quality.

  64. But Jim! He said HE would do the talking, and YOU would do the reading! You
    were talking and he was writing! The world is topsey turvey!

  65. ♀¨•♠ö║í±☻~

    “You can watch while you’re open in another browser, reading TV Tropes or
    something.”
    HOW DID YOU KNOW

  66. Stock Cryengine bullshit.

  67. I was reading tv tropes and reddit when he said that. Jim has clearly
    acquired omniscience. He is one step closer to Godhood.
    Also I’m gonna give this video an 8.6, which means it is exactly 0.1 better
    than Uncharted 4 and no one had better have a different opinion.

  68. Infiltrator example assets :p

  69. The walking animation cycle on the robots look like they’re going
    backwards. Lots of skating.

  70. Plissken Armitage

    Why is there no rear sight on that M4?

  71. its like second warfare meets earth 2066

  72. Tony Davis (Battlion50)

    2:25 Wow, I think I chuckled a bit to hard that it hurt. God bless you Jim
    Sterling.

  73. This is the Dark Souls of first-person robot groin-thrust action.

  74. 3:15 OH SHIT I slowed down time!
    Haha brilliant. Developer left the debug tools in one of the keyboard
    bindings?

  75. Gábor Négyesi

    so early access is the same as a proof of concept now… brilliant..
    actually, is this even early access?

  76. Dead man, pick yourself off the ground.
    I said dead man, go run over that mound.
    I said dead man, you are once again downed.
    There’s no need, to, have, these, load times

  77. Is it me or do the robots laser effects sound like Reapers from Mass
    Effect?

  78. These shitty games do a public service by keeping JIm employed and
    entertaining us lol.

  79. Jesus, can’t believe this is supposed to be a finished product.

    From the sound of it, the ambient music/drones in the background sounds
    ok-ish. Is that also an asset bought from a store? Would actually like to
    hear it in it’s own.

  80. Looks like they’re shooting light bulbs at you when it pauses after Jim
    first dies.

  81. That motion blur was nauseating!

  82. ChargedCapacitor wdasddsaf

    Why is the M1 Abrams at 1:10 damaged at all? And why is there an undamaged
    plane in the distance? Did the human armies all just kill themselves or
    something? And if the bots can be taken down by a single soldier with an
    assault rifle and a rocket launcher, then how did they defeat most of the
    human armies combined?

  83. The text would be ON the screen if you had a 4k monitor like EVERYONE, you
    casual SJW. /s

  84. This is what would happen if someone said “I’ll make a better game than
    Call of Duty!”
    And they end up with unadulterated trash that’s barely playable.

  85. Chromasus (Chromasus)

    Listening to this with Tvtropes open. Jim, don’t say that. Fucking scary!
    Next thing I know you’re actually behind me, watching what I do.

  86. Ёб . нутый пен.дос!!! Д.ал.баё.б!!! Умри .к ху.ям!!!

  87. ArmouredLemming

    Robot the Robot?
    Nah, MechaChungus!

  88. The main protagonist is so badass he can aim M4 without the rear sights.
    Wow, so impressed.

  89. Dead Man is a terrible superhero

  90. have a good old taste of this.

  91. I watched it all, Jim. Then I watched it all again. Because this is the
    gift you’ve given us, and it would churlish – nay, downright disrespectful
    – of us to disregard it. One day, when you’re dead, crushed to death under
    a Pachinko machine by a Konami corporate ninja, the world will look back
    and mourn the loss of your gift, and that it was not appreciated enough in
    your time. People then will wail that they did not watch this video in
    full. I do not plan to be one of them. God bless. (For you. Along with
    thanks. For you. From God.)

  92. Safersephiroth777

    This games doesn’t look good.

  93. If the dev is reading this, stick a dildo onto the end of that robot and
    turn this into a sexy robot VR game. Pin me down Scotty!

  94. Rickard Johansson

    Yay another garbage unity game.

  95. Vindicator 12 Music

    in my most scummy redneck voice: “i just love being a dad, i wanna git em
    everythang they wunt”.

  96. I like how when you die the screen rotates and you can continue to take
    damage to make the screen spin more

  97. In the late 90s when Internet started to grow and becoming more and more
    available – everyone thought that it was their personal duty to learn the
    basics of html and css and create a personal website – so everyone could
    see that mess of broken tags and eye hurting styles with animated gifs all
    over the place… now it is the same with video games – when everyone can
    download unity engine, some free assets and throw it all together to make a
    train-wreck of a game and put it up for sale!!!

    PS Idk who would buy this after looking at the 10fps trailer on the store
    page

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