How does one critique a game that they literally cannot access, even after buying it? Even if other people can get into the thing, should the critic not share their absurd experience? How forgiving does one need to be for the sake of a “AAA” videogame?
Outriders, developed by People Can Fly and published by Square Enix, is unplayable. Apparently I’m lying when I say this, but it’s the truth. Be it co-op or solo, I cannot start the game, and have been almost entirely unable to since it’s launch.
It’s so bad I need to seek a refund, much to the chagrin of people who are mad because of facts that I cannot change.
“Server issues happen with every game launch!”
That’s worse. You see how that is worse right?
The worst person is the “I’m not having any issues so you must be lying” person
Just recently I started playing Anthem thinking “how bad could it be?” since it was on Game Pass and oh boy was it bad. I was honestly actually enjoying the game skipping all the shitty cutscenes and going straight to the fly and pew pew until the game literally refused to continue. I was playing solo of course, but then I got to a mission, a fucking main storyline mission that you’re forced to complete, in which the game will not allow you to play until you find more players. But of course, the game is fucking deserted so it’s nigh impossible to find anyone. At some point the game gives up and lets you begin the mission by yourself but then each single enemy takes like 5 entire ammo magazines (not even exaggerating) just to get its shields down because it’s obviously meant for multiple players. Isn’t that some fantastic game design?
the commercials are literal horror short films
I don’t know if the commercial segments are supposed to give off an Eldritch Horror vibe but that’s what they give me.
Believe me, dude, you ain’t missing much.
Trying to stay connected/get connected IS the endgame.
So it turns out games are always online so that companies can specifically block Jim from playing their products.
Somehow the worst part of that crisps ad was when the two potatoes knocked against each other and looked like horrible little exposed testicles.
Ironically, while the game industry screams that pirates ruin the industry, pirates will probably attempt to release the game without the always online blocker, accidentally being a more convenient and useable service.
Imagine you download a videogame that’s over 40GB. Your internet connection is slow so you download it over night (maybe 2+ days). It’s finally downloaded you start the game up, your excited. And…Servers down…I JUST WANT TO PLAY A VIDEOGAME DAMN IT.
The thing that impresses me most about Jim Sterlings videos is that they can find an infinite number of “shit” Halloween costumes
Imagine buying a game and telling the publisher “be patient, give me time” when they ask for the money.
I was not prepared for all the potatoes to turn around and stare directly into my soul while smiling
To be honest, there’s almost no reason left to claim pirating triple A titles is bad.
Remember that time that YouTube decided to unsubscribe people from random channels and, after weeks of complaints, they released a statement saying that it wasn’t happening? This goes beyond burying their heads in the sand, they’re trying to bury OUR heads.
“You’re pissed off the building is on fire? Every building is destroyed eventually, stop complaining!”
This double-standard between games and their buyers is almost literally a Steven Wright joke: “My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, ‘All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.'”