The Dark Crystal: Age Of Resistance Tactics – It’s Shit (Jimpressions)


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I’m a big Dark Crystal fan – loved the movie, adored the Netflix show. The latter has been adapted to videogame form as The Dark Crystal: Age Of Resistance Tactics, and it’s really quite bad.

A bare bones turn-based strategy RPG that runs poorly, looks dated, and plays without any of the streamlining and convenience of a modern game, Age of Resistance Tactics feels like a cheap and cynical cash-in.

Well, it’s hard to call it “cheap” when they want twenty bucks for this garbage.

20 Comments:

  1. Me wondering about Jim’s thoughts on game
    video comes out with title:

    *Surprised Pikachu Face*

    Welp, rip

  2. Jim: This game SUCKS
    Me: THE CRYSTAL CALLS !!!

  3. They must of outsourced to the same people who did Warcraft III: Refunded

  4. So Jim, which was more painful: The root canal or the game?

  5. When I saw them advertising this game in the E3 2019 Nintendo Direct I was like: ?
    I thought it was Netflix coming to Switch instead, and I actually would’ve been *more* excited for that.

  6. I wish a zelda style game would be made using the dark crystal license by an actually competent developer that would be perfect.

  7. Just try to believe The Dark Crystal: Age Of Resistance Tactics was nothing but a nightmare, something you hallucinated at the dentist office while removing the root canal.

  8. You know what’s sad? This game being announced is what got me to watch Age of Resistance, and that was amazing. Can’t wait for the next season. And yes, if you haven’t seen it, go watch it, it’s one of the most beautiful shows I’ve ever seen.

  9. This game was created by the Skeksis themselves.

  10. This game makes me sad, the difference in quality in comparison to the show is shocking.

  11. When a game is so dull and lifeless that Jim F***ing Sterling Son couldn’t find the energy to give the Jimpression video a witty tagline…

  12. when he said “nine-teen-ninety-nine!!!!!”
    I thought that was the release date

  13. I’ll hold out for Total War: Thra

  14. I hoped for Terminator: Resistance but instead we got Terminator Salvation 🙁

  15. “Woah, that looks pretty!”
    “.. oh”
    “Ohhhh…”

    “Ohhhh noooo…”

  16. Jeez, that Narcos Netflix show as an X-Com knockoff, now the Dark Crystal: a Final Fantasy Tactics knockoff.
    To the trope bin of… The problem of Licensed videogames.

  17. Jim: “Its boring”
    Me: still looks like a decent phone game
    Jim: “its 19.99”
    Me: that seems a little bit of a steep price for a phone game
    Jim: “it’s not a phone game”
    Me: i… i… what?

  18. “this, isn’t a phone game…” oh lord please no.

  19. Me: “Wait, there’s a Dark Crystal video game??” 😀
    [2 nanoseconds later]
    Me: “It sucks!?!?!?” :'(

  20. She landed a glancing blow on a fucking book.

    I realize I posted this hours ago, but it’s really fucking bothered me now. She got a *glancing blow* on a *book*. How does that even work?

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