The 100% Objective Review (The Jimquisition Remastered)

One from the vaults! The classic 100% Objective Review for Final Fantasy XIII gets some new clothes.


  1. Noooooo no new Jimquisition this week 🙁

  2. Wow so objective, I can almost feel the impartiality radiating trough my screen!

  3. This jimqusitions is only over 5min long . That’s as long as a wank. So it’s easily disposable but you don’t want to be caught watching it

  4. Never seen a more extensive and accurate test of Final Fantasy XIII.

  5. TheAmazingDolphin

    Life’s good when you have eyes

  6. One of the rare remasters that’s free ?

  7. This is a video. Some may enjoy it, and others may not.

  8. Was Jim too busy playing Dad of War for an episode this week?

  9. This isn’t a remaster it’s an HD port at best!!

  10. I never understood why Square Enix put so much focus on XIII with 2 sequels or why Lightning was given so much attention. Sure, she’s one of the few female protagonist of the Final Fantasy characters, but that doesn’t mean she’s a good character. Quite frankly, I couldn’t stand her.

  11. When Mark Zucherburg is asked to make a game review

  12. Wasn’t the original video of this a reading of the original article written? If that’s the case, this is like the third time this came out.

  13. “…vote Republican” xD Okay that one got me

  14. 11/10 read like a kotaku review. Would buy the words again. Thank god for Craig

  15. At this point, “FFXIII is a product made solely to make money from the lowest random number denominator” is an objective statement

  16. Hilarious. Aw man, thanks for this. Whenever people moan about a review being “impartial” (they’re misusing that word btw) or “biased” I’ll link them this video.

  17. Agsma, Just Agsma

    >uses old sound sample with echo.

    Sums up a lot of remasters, actually.

  18. I knew this episode from before and i still think while Jims assessment is right (that a 100% objective review is not really possible or desirable), the conclusion that it doesn’t matter that you are subjective because you can’t be 100% objective is still wrong. There is a balance there you can strike. There are things that are objectively assessable (to different degrees) and there are things that are not. This is not a Black and White issue (still a good game though that Black and White).

  19. Still not objective enough. Awful review. How do we know the characters are ‘saving’ the planet long term? Perhaps the planet wanted to die. Perhaps the future will make the characters yearn for the release of death.

    How does FFXIII ‘belong’ to the RPG genre? Perhaps it is not welcome there at all. Maybe the RPG genre is not ready to move in with FFXIII yet. How do we know the AI makes the ‘best’ decision for the characters in combat? What if the character doesn’t want to fight, and instead would rather go home and nap?

    What if I don’t have eyes or ears, you presumptuous, biased shill? And don’t even get me started on our subjective experience of the passage of time, you hack fraud.

  20. This was a review that reviewed a video game with words and images.

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