Taking Candy From Dark Souls (The Jimquisition)



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Yes, we’re talking about again, but I can promise I’m not just giving it a big hard wank this time. We’ve actually got something to piss and moan about.

Cheating is rampant in Lothric, and the folks at Namco and From are doing dick-all to deal with it properly. In fact, their response so far has done more harm than good.

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50 Comments:

  1. New thumbnails AND opening?
    I can live with this

  2. i cheat in dark souls

    but i only play it singal player so i dont effect anyone

  3. But it’s okay! Because the PC is the master race. They can just fix it
    because they are so superior to us console peasants.

  4. The main reason I stopped playing online games on PC.
    I feel sorry for the dudes getting banned for no reason, but to be fair
    hacker and cheater are an essential part of PC gaming since the beginning.

  5. I like the new into Jim. Looks cool

  6. 7:24 Ah, yes. “Theft”.
    The thing everyone is acknowledging as a bad thing that shouldn’t exist,
    much less be socially acceptable.
    Yet here we are, being forced to pay taxes to the local monopoly, because
    “who is going to build the roads otherwise?!”
    Implying we need a planned economy for infrastructure. Roads, really? The
    “free” market was able to cover every developed country
    in highspeed internet and people think we wouldn’t be able to pour some
    fucking tarmac on the ground? Anyway, cheating in Dark Souls sucks shit.

  7. ImAFckingDragon

    Didn’t the Diablo games fix this kind of thing by having an online only
    option?

  8. Still using that piss-awful song I see. My god that woman’s voice is
    literally like having a spider wasp lay eggs in my ears.

  9. With that intro and outro you are bound to make a Jim Fucking Trading Card
    Game Sterling Son. Short: JFTCGSS, the best childrens card game ver
    created. ;)

  10. I’m a bit new to the Jimquisition fan club. Can anyone explain to me where
    the phase “Garme Jurnalizm” came from and what it means?

  11. that’s what you get for playing it on PC. Also, you look physically
    repugnant. Like a corpse that’s been left to bloat in a septic tank for
    weeks.

  12. Moral of the story? Don’t buy from Konami because Konami is Konami and
    Konami is shit.

  13. dislike the new but I’ll deal. it’s just an opening.

  14. Before even watching I know what this is about. The steam discussions are
    blowing up about this topic.

    There are people going around getting people banned through invading, they
    just enter your game and boom, you’re banned.

  15. “PC GAMING MASTER RACE OMG *sucks own penis over $2.5k setup*. What? The
    freedom of PC gaming has drawbacks like easy kidding and it’s ruining my
    experience. WAAAAH!!! I’d better cry about it without addressing any of the
    inherent flaws of PC gaming and still tote it as the master race despite my
    current grievences or any other logical problem with a platform that
    typifies chaos.” — every PC gamer ever.

    I love you, Jim, and I love PC gaming, but a PC gamer use the word “baby”
    is practically the definition of hypocrisy.

    I’mma just go back to enjoy DaS3 on PS4 at a consistent framer ate and
    watch you puritanical fuck’s shit yourself in rage over this inevitable
    problem…because I can.

  16. Awesome new intro. love it.

  17. Kotaku piece on Dark Souls? Yep, Patrick Klepek.

  18. i wish i could randomly duel jim and just POUND him with my most phallic of
    weapons…OVER AND OVER again…seriously jim you’re the only bum that
    brings out the homo within me

  19. Giorgi Maghlakelidze

    Nice opening and credits! One thing: please lose the 3D rotation of your
    photo :)

  20. I spent the day not knowing this was a Jimquisition… I’m crying in my bed
    now

  21. so is this why dark souls self uninstalled on my steam library today?

  22. I got banned during the first banwave as they call them, not because of the
    cheaters corrupting peoples saves but due to that FromSofts Anti-Cheat
    system also flags accounts with other stupids like in-game crashes (nvidia
    drivers) and going offline and online during the first week of launch not
    much people know about it since the first banwave wasn’t huge but just
    saying they need to just re-do the cheat system or take it down.

    They failed badly with VAC on DS2 but this is just even worse.

  23. Borderlands has been suffering cheaters forever. People coming in with
    completely customized shit and armor and stuff has existed for years. GTAV
    has had many cheaters and has put them in cheater limbo. How hard is it for
    a patch to come out to detect modified shit or shit that is literally
    impossible to get? Diablo did that in the 90s im sure Crap Souls 3 can do
    it in 2016.

  24. Love the puppets, don’t like the flippy picture.

  25. Don’t blame the cheaters, blame the game creators who designed their game
    like that.

  26. It’s not just picking up hacked items. Hackers can forcibly inject other
    players with souls and other status effects causing them to be flagged as
    hackers. There’s nothing you can do to avoid this except for manually
    backing up your save data and using that backup to recover from some
    asshole getting you softbanned.

  27. well, I guess I won’t be buying dark souls 3 until this situation is
    improved.

  28. Feeling like the previous iteration of the intro and thumbnail was more
    competently made and stylish than this one.
    But move along.

  29. Thank God for you and thank God for the new intro

  30. Mig 29s AND Shermans? I like the new intro, if only because it makes the
    military nut in me twitch.

  31. GTA. Just sayin’

  32. Needs more pics of you during the credit. Thank God for You.

  33. TheCarboniteBath

    Cheating in a single player game? Go for it
    Cheating in a multiplayer game? Eat a bag of shit. It really is that
    simple.

  34. I will say the new intro is very lackluster

  35. old intro was better, this one feels kinda cheap

  36. Tomáš “Solearis” Berecz

    The new intro/outro sequences are great.

  37. I think the pictures of you on the outro and the second picture on your
    intro would look better if they were slightly stylized. Like those Obama
    posters or something similar. It would go well with the “Dicktator” theme
    you have going for you. :)

  38. Easy fix, program it so that the game checks game files when logging into
    online servers. I’m sure it wouldn’t be too hard, and they wouldn’t have to
    do these dumb bans, because you’d be informed when attempting to log on
    with modified files, that your files are modified, and you need to fix that
    shit.

  39. Love the new intro/outro…. sexy just gets more sexy… thank god!

  40. Squishy Productions

    Yeah Doug Walker’s push got enough people complaining to get a spot on two
    round table discussions on the future of fair use. Suddenly youtube patches
    the most disgustingly egregious, and easiest to fix, part of the fair use
    trampling. Probably doing it so they have some token attempt to bring to
    the table in the upcoming round tables. “See! We’re totally… uhhh…
    “working” on it. You totally don’t need to step in and make sure the right
    to fair use is being upheld! That would be really bad for our business
    model! So, we got this! Free enterprise. Government regulations bad and
    whatnot. Now go away and let us continue to trample these people’s fair use
    rights, ok?”

  41. Eh take it as a life lesson, even when you’re not doing anything wrong you
    can still get fucked over.

  42. The new opening credits are nice, but they could use more animations
    involving the Penetrator, which is *CLEARLY LONGER THAN THREE FEET!*

  43. Will you be talking about the upcoming game of Nioh by the guys from Team
    Ninja any chance mr.Sterling? I feel like it’ll give ya just one more
    reason to talk about dark souls and also mainly about NIOH.

  44. I never have fun when I cheat. It’s obviously no big deal in single-player
    games, but for me it just removes the challenge and I get bored.

    Although, I do enjoy occasionally toggling godmode in Skyrim or F4 and
    going on a killing spree in the towns…

  45. New opening was on point.

  46. GTA V has similar issues where people will actually forcedly give other
    players hacked cash. The only way to ensure you don’t get punished is to
    contact support and report it.

  47. Not so sure about the intro/outro – seems a bit stilted and slow-paced
    compared to the old one.

  48. I don’t like the last part of the intro, doesn’t seem as organic as the old
    one.

  49. the booty of fate

    like the soviet union style credits.

  50. Nice intro, Jim.

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