LOL Square Enix Sold Tomb Raider For Magic Crypto Beans (The Jimquisition)

I mean, it’s not entire reason, but it’s still hilarious. Here’s hoping the likes of Tomb Raider and Deus Ex are in better hands. Not hard, since Enix’s hands are covered in poop!


  1. I don’t see how the CEO of SE can keep his job much longer…just for the crypto b.s. alone. Shareholders have got to be aware of the extreme backlash from every corner of the gaming world over crypto being in games — which is a problem since gamers are their customers. They have also got to be aware of the utter instability and exceedingly high failure rate of anything blockchain. SE is not a private company, they have stockholders to deal with, and stockholders don’t like when CEOs throw money out the window, or valuable assets. $300 mil for the companies and titles they sold was a freaking give-away. But on the bright side, those sold companies are in much better hands now. (The company that bought them was originally called Nordic Games, you’ve probably heard of them).

    Also, I would like to know how the CEO explains his blockchain ideas to the shareholders. From a few articles I’ve read, it sounds like he’s saying “we can get gamers to make the games for us, something something, blockchain”. Like paying gamers in crypto for mods? Paying them for mods centered around crypto? Something that won’t happen anytime soon either way. So selling off assets and upsetting millions of customers for something that isn’t even ready to go and is reviled before it’s even revealed. That’s no way to run a company.

  2. It’s OK to be white.

  3. Big publishers present totally unrealistic sales expectations because when even their tentpole titles fail to meet those outlandish numbers, the publisher can quietly pocket the massive profits from millions of sales, while shorting the developers any potential bonuses and leaving the publisher with an easy out if they decide they want to ‘downsize’ the studio in question. The stock market has learned to ignore most ‘disappointing’ game release data, and just watch the profit line, which is somehow always remarkably healthy despite these ‘disappointing’ releases.
    In short, it’s a shell game that the publisher is playing with its own developers to ensure that they get to pocket almost all the profits and to ensure that they have the upper hand in future project negotiations, which certainly isn’t anything new, sadly.

  4. TheTruePacmanMG

    Maybe a new Legacy of Kain game? Square didn’t give a shit, but maybe the next owner will? Please? I need this.

  5. Ah, peak fucking sterlingson.
    More powerful than ever!

  6. i mean this is the same company who moved their offices after a fortune teller told them to do so. i honestly wonder if theyre now being scammed by some other “fortune teller” whos an nft/blockchain investor on the low.

  7. Carlo Pizzutelli

    Is it okay for us to call Square Enix “Squix”?

  8. Pica hudsonia unflocked

    This is wild esp after the synchronicity between Folding Ideas/münecat/etc doing thorough debunks of nfts/blockchains around the same time HBomb dropped his DeusEx video, which covered SE-Montreal as part of the story, along with the excellent work StephSterling always does, plus a strong pro-labour force bent taken by several other fantastic longform game reviewers as they see the impacts of greed + corruption within the industry on game development. 
    A year ago I probably wouldn’t have had the background knowledge to understand the implications of this deal. Um…thanks? …lol so how do I have only 2 eyes, yet apparently infinite scales can fall from them? Must be a glitch…

  9. Tryhard Songbird

    I’m really worried about the future of ffxiv in the wake of all this nonsense going on at SE :/

  10. Mankind Divided deserved a sequel, not to be abandoned for seven years.

  11. Europe belongs to Europeans.

    It does not belong to Africans. It does not belong to Middle Easterners. It does not belong to Muslims. It does not belong to Russians. It does not belong to China. And it most certainly does not belong to the United States of America.

  12. Lmao how on earth did Square Enix let all those IPs and studios go for only 300m to the same company that acquired Gearbox for 1b more than that, for a company that literally only cares about making as much money as possible, they got fleeced and it serves them right.

    Side note, I’m loving all the new looks you’ve been trying, this one looks fucking great on you!

  13. Fuckgenericshooters

    Fuck N.F.T.s and what they are doing to art. Konami and Square used to be some of the best companies in gaming, but now they have sold out everything and become corrupt. I hope Nintendo, Capcom, Atlus and Devolver do not do this: If they all go, I may have to switch to collecting movies or books something. I love them, but games have a unique interactive quality which they cannot simulate. There is no challenge to my skills in another genre: Books can challenge my mind with their subtleties, but reading through is no harder than turning a page.

  14. If Square’s leadership believes that NFTs will make more money than games, it makes perfect logical sense to dump the latter and hop onto the former. The only industry under capitalism is money. It is only through sheer good fortune that most people lack skill and/or interest in capitalism and we continue to enjoy a wide variety of goods and services.

  15. I mean tomb raider was only relevant when lara had double D’s. Rather play Uncharted

  16. master of the world

    What she crying about today

  17. I got so distracted and happy by the Golden Axe music that I had to rewind 15 seconds (3 times) to catch what u were saying xD Great vid as always. Cheers

  18. how odd! the crypto-affiliated news sites are all scrambling to say NFT’s are alive and well, people are misunderstanding the data, there is no war in NFT, etc, etc. I wonder what their bias is. Anyways, RIP NFT’s. We hardly knew ye and yet we fuckin’ hated every second of it.

  19. If we’re lucky, this is going to be good for the games, getting them away from Squeenix is already keeping them safe.

  20. Man, I love this channel. Unrepentantly, bitterly awake in a hellscape world run by corrupt morons.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.