Konami’s Awful, Awful Soccer Game (The Jimquisition)




eFootball 2022 is an impressively bad new direction for the formerly beloved Pro Evolution Soccer series. Konami has once again provided the world with something truly terrible make delighted fun of.

More than that, however, it’s yet another example of how so-called “AAA” publishers continue screw their precious “live service” games by rushing undercooked trash market.

Oh, Konami, whatever will we do with you?

20 Comments:

  1. Whenever I hear a terrible game being defended by people saying “It’s free to play”, I always imagine that scene from Rick and Morty where the Devils says “Let’s just say…you don’t pay with money…”

  2. Honestly, it’s been a while since KONAMI reared it’s face in the video game scene.
    They just won’t give us a break and they probably ain’t giving up their properties any time soon. Kojima would know that feeling.

  3. I’ve seen people defending this game’s issues with the fact that it’s free to play. To that I say, so what? It’s not a gift just because it’s free. Publishers would love every game to be free to play, as it let’s them justify putting out low quality garbage filled with recurrent monetization.

  4. Hey it’s FucKonami News! Long time we haven’t had one of those!
    This game got tagged as Psychological Horror??? LMAO! Maybe Konami was trying to make the next Silent Hill game, and got confused!
    But now I want to see a Bloodbowl-style soccer game with Silent Hill monsters as players. Got to be better than this!

  5. I think this game is like an annual dentist appointment for Konami: “Oh, crap, that’s right…we still make video games, ugh.”

  6. I personally enjoyed that this felt a bit more like the older videos. I’m glad you’re evolving but I sure do love when you rip into Konami

  7. Fun fact, or fan fiction, Player 3D models in this game are designed by the sculptor of the infamous Ronaldo bust.

  8. Devasta The Seeker

    Isn’t it weird how Konami seems to love money but do things that result in less money that most people would say are bad ideas?

  9. God speed Laura with captioning the ball gag segments of this episode, I wish her luck

  10. Omg we haven’t hit the lever in so long i’m so nostalgic

  11. EA: “Finally, I’m at the top.”
    Activision Blizzard: “No I am!”
    Konami: “Lol, hold my Pachinko Machine.”

  12. Doctor Butthugger

    “If you release a game too early, you’ll find yourself perpetually running late” is a hell of a line

  13. Konami showing us that, if “AAA” are going to add another letter, it should be an H and maybe and exclamation mark to boot.

  14. I absolutely love how off the wall the screenshots and gifs are of this broken ass game. This mess has brought me more joy then a Konami game has in the past decade. I had low expectations, and Konami continues to lower that bar. Really impressive, is I don’t say so myself.

  15. I understand why Kojima left and made his own studio now. Good move!

  16. Yeah, JimSteph, you _have_ become normal. What happened to those deranged “cornflakes homunculus” moments ? I want my nightmares back, please !

  17. The only positive Konami did was call it football instead of soccer. That’s it.

  18. Has it really been a year since we last said #FucKonami? Wow. Time flies when… well. *waves hands globally* You know. This whole thing.

  19. To quote Yahtzee: 🎵”LET’S ALL LAUGH AT AN INDUSTRY THAT NEVER LEARNS ANYTHING TEE HEE HEE!”🎵

  20. “My grandma could do better and she’s dead” was lifted straight from Daria. Who may or may not have lifted it from somewhere else. But it’s still funny.

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