The Grand Theft Auto Trilogy, otherwise known hilariously as Grand Theft Auto Definitive Edition, is terrible. A disaster. A most amusing circus.
Let’s take that ride right now. Strap yourselves in!
Grand Theft Awful (The Jimquisition)
The Grand Theft Auto Trilogy, otherwise known hilariously as Grand Theft Auto Definitive Edition, is terrible. A disaster. A most amusing circus.
Undoubtedly the best Jimquisition released this week.
Thank God for Monday Jimquisition, what a great way to start the week.
It’s funny that it both says “I could do with a D” and it’s a Teabag commercial, Great work all around James Stephanie Sterling. Keep living up to your title of Non-Binary Finery.
You know a company has a good product when they have to remove their own existing products from shelves because otherwise there’s no reason to buy the new product.
You: The game Looks bad!
Youtube Compression: Your day is about to get a looot worse.
Rockstar: “Definitive!”. Inigo Montoya: “You keep on using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means”
4:06 “A cheap and contemptuous method of falsely upping the value of the new versions. This is one of the game industry’s favorite tricks. Don’t sell something based on what you’re offering, but what you’ve taken away.”
Still waiting for Bungie’s “Definitive Action MMO, Destiny 2” to get a Jimquisition, since they’re now a year and a half in on removing PAID content from that game via their “Destiny Content Vault,” and are about to remove more in February to make room for their “The Witch Queen Mega Super Duper Big Dick Energy Awesome Bundle.” The game has gotten tons of articles and promotion about being “free to play,” while the vast bulk is behind paywall.
As a huge ELO fan, I LOVED the bit talking about Secret Messages. That album doesn’t get enough love.
Thank god for James Stephanie Sterling and their impromptu discussion of ELO songs.
TIL I can always go for an off-script tangent about ELO, especially if it includes their underrated gem “Time.”
I’m a sucker for “The Way Life’s Meant to Be.” What’s your favorite track from the album?
The “definitive” edition was the biggest dissapointment ive ever had so far in my gaming life, i was in my 20s when 3 was released and loved all 3. Went back to them a few years ago but they just fel clunky now so i was over the moon when i hear a remaster was happening. Well what the hell happened?! Greed, incompentancy and passing their trilogy that made the company what it is today to a third party studio who were probably on a strict time limit and shock horror we got a massive let down, not only that they have changed the feeling of the game totally, i cannot understand how this happens, does nobody from rockstar care or look at how the games remaster is progressing, realise its not up to their standards and take action accoringly? apparently not, so we are left with no way to obtain the originals, modders are being squashed and the trilogy is a let down, not a total disaster but for me at least its a trilogy ill never get to play again unless some serious improvements are made. It stinks of corporate greed and the poor staff who will now get harrassed are the targets for everyones rage when rockstar themselves should be accountable. Well im going to speak with my wallet and never buy a rockstar game again, i hope they learn from this but lets be honest, the gaming world has devolved into a cash grab and minimium effort farce that needs serious reform. Dont ever forget that they could have done this right and used their millions to give us a proper definitive edition but no, we are meaningless to them. Just imagine these in rdr2’s engine! Thats what these deserved with all the music included.
Rockstar: *sees warcraft 3 reforged debacle*
Rockstar: “heeey, that’s pretty good”
love the vid, please stop singing…. please
Compared to everything else as of late, “people bought a shitty game and can’t even play it because of eighty different layers of DRM” is downright refreshing.
I saw a Twitter post from Silent Hill fans sending their love and understanding to the GTA fans. Solidarity between bad remasters is lovely to see.
My favourite screw up with this game so far is when Vinesauce Joel spent the better part of an hour drinking sodas over and over until the game crashed and refused to launch again. At all. It crashed at the title screen after that. Amazing.