Cryptovania (The Jimquisition)


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Konami is the publisher y’all just love to hate, and recently it’s jumped aboard a bandwagon held in equal contempt by decent people everywhere – NFTs!

Yes, nobody could be surprised one of gaming’s most pathetically cynical publishers would go all crypto on us, so let’s just tear into Konami once again, shall we?

20 Comments:

  1. I’m genuinely worried that pointless NFT crap in gaming will be seen as normal as DLC in 10 years. At least DLC *can* be good.

  2. It’s been a while since we’ve had the opportunity to say “fuck Konami”. Thanks Stephanie!

  3. Konami must have missed being talked about (genuinely forgot they were still a thing) so it decided to do something shitty… interesting strategy

  4. First five minutes and I’m smiling ear to ear. Thank you so much for being the most real person associated with the game industry.

  5. Ahh yes, Cryptovania, the franchise where you play as Simon Belmint and various other members of his bloodline on their respective journeys to stop Greedcula and other such major evils of the night! Using your Money Whip (which can be upgraded into the Block-Chain Whip), you thrash your way through every penny of the night to put down the Lord of Greed.

  6. Everyone: “So why’d you do it?”

    Konami: “Money!”

  7. I really enjoyed the game recommendation segment at the end, would you consider making it a stable part of The Jimquisition?

  8. The Mutton Chop Gamer

    Can we just all start comparing NFTs to Beanie Babies? People claimed that they’d be an investment, but at the end of the day, they’re both worthless, but at least with a Beanie Baby you can actually have a thing that isn’t just ethereal 1s and 0s

  9. Hate to see Konami worsening their bullshit but love Commander Steph tearing into them in perfect fashion. Thank god for you.

  10. I remember back when corrupt corporations at least pretended to be honest.

  11. You know 2022 is going to be a shit year for gaming when, two episodes in, the Jimquisition has to utilize FucKonami News And it’s not about a soccer game.

  12. I’ve said it on several videos on other channels and I’ll say it again: I have had my work stolen for NFTs three times so far, all in the span of a week and a half by completely different people. The only thing that’s been a bigger pain in the ass than the time wasted on filing DMCAs to get the listings removed and the money I’ve had to spend on a service to monitor for future thefts is having to deal with the dudebros who get a chub at the mere _thought_ of NFTs. I’ve encountered two in particular who were real gems:

    “Your work wasn’t stolen, they just minted it before you did. If you want this to stop you just need to mint it first or take them to court.” _Because we all know how easy and affordable taking someone to court is._

    And the real winner: “Look man I’m sorry you’re upset but please understand that complaining about your OC being stolen or whatever won’t help anything.”

    I’m a professional illustrator, designer, and colorist with 15 years of industry experience and a BFA in illustration. But yeah, I’m just bitching about my OC being stolen. “Or whatever.” As if being a hobbyist/amateur would have somehow made stealing my work _magically okay._

    Fuck NFTs and the doorstops who steal artwork for them. I’m glad these companies are getting blasted for trying to shove this shit down our throats. I keep repeating myself on videos about this to spread the word about what’s happening to artists right and left as a result of this bandwagoning.

  13. The fact that so many people struggle to wrap their brain around how NFTs work should hopefully allow for it to fall out of fashion in ways the usual microtransactions didn’t. Even those who insist crypto is the future clearly don’t understand what the hell it even is most of the time.

  14. I had the biggest “WELL OF COURSE THEY WOULD” when I heard the news.

    I’d say being a Castlevania fan is pain but that’s nothing compared to the absolute limbo fans of their other series have been in for over a decade now.

  15. I like it when you off handedly recommend an indie game I hadn’t heard of before! More of that please! And great episode as usual.

  16. One of the funniest/most ironic things about NFTs is that most of the stuff their supporters like to dream about (Skins working in multiple games and such) would take such an amount of cooperation, effort and just straight out ALTRUISM from game companies that the only ones that could actually believe it possible are…

    … Well, the ones that haven’t played any AAA game in the last 15 years. ^^

  17. You’re not beating a dead horse, the industry is beating everyone to death

  18. Please don’t ever stop, Sterling!

    Also, vocable is a perfecty cromulent word.

  19. I’ve genuinely come across younger gamers that grew up in a gaming world where microtransactions are normalized and it sucks to see. they’re completely okay with it and trying to tell them how much more rewarding games were when you earned these things instead of paying for them just makes me look like a grumpy old millennial that can’t let go of the past. I dread the idea of NFTs becoming normalized in the same way.

  20. The more the big corporations try to push NFTs, the more my interest diverts to indie games and emulators with games gone by.

    Also, hope you feel better soon. Thank you for continuing to put out content, but I hope you’re taking care of yourself too.

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